How I changed my perspective on good things coming to an end.
“You can define yourself by the vision of the future or a memory of the past.”
– Dr Joe Dispenza
It is important to learn to accept each moment as a contribution to the future.
I’ve noticed this continuous change going on in my mind over the last few years. When I was younger, I used to get so upset when a chapter of my life, or even just a trip had come to a close. If I had to say goodbye to people or a place, for a few days I would feel solemn, dwelling on the fact that it was over, or that my usual routine was being turned upside down.
Now, when I think about it – It was silly!
Perhaps, moving to a different country and having to say regular goodbyes taught me how to deal with it. Going back and forth sometimes means having limited time with the people you love, and eventually it always comes to an end. But, it trained me how to be grateful and cherish the good times, instead of being sad. I am not sure exactly when I came to this realisation, or whether there was a definitive time that something changed in my head.
Every summer, when I was growing up I would go to a summer camp with Scouts. Looking back, I recall ruining the last few days for myself. Then, even if I just went away for a short weekend trip, it was often the same – The last few days or hours would be spent dwelling on the fact that soon, I would have to leave and go home. I would come home from camp feeling emotionally exhausted from crying and feeling sorrowful, not joyful over the fact that I had spent half of my entire school break with friends, camping in the middle of the forest, my favourite place. If I had the chance to do it again, instead I would remind myself of how lucky I was, and how much fun I had. Instead of dwelling, I would snap my mind back into a positive state and relish the moments, live them out to the fullest. Maybe, instead of crying the whole way home I would spend the journey writing down all the memorable moments, so that I could go back and remind myself of how wonderful they were.
It’s amazing how such a small change in your mindset can completely transform your experience.
Think of the moments when you stopped yourself from enjoying the last part of your holiday because you were so fixated on going back home soon. The times when thinking about the future took you out of the present…
This works for the hard times too.
If there’s something bad happening in your life, you are stuck in a job you don’t like or you lose a person you love, it’s really important to have some kind of vision for the future. Some kind of a plan that will help you to get out of that situation. If you lose someone you love, think about what you have learnt from that person, why the person was so special and try to focus on that.
I savour noticing people’s special traits and characteristics and I try to implement it in my life to be a better person. Instead of being jealous, I look at other people with a question ‘What can I improve in my life to be this courageous, persistent, happy, and so on. It is a continuous, long process and it takes a lot of effort to rewire my brain but I truly believe that it will make my life happier. And I am already starting to see a difference.
Live your life fully. Be a great example for others. We can change the world together.
Don’t be sad something ended, be grateful it happened.